::Malu -_-::

Ok, this post is self centered and cerita time aku rse agak down. So, sesape yg cmx leh blah ke ape ke, sile klik tanda X kat tab browser anda @ kat atas blah kanan skali kat windows anda. Senang cte, x yah bca!


Ok, anda still kat sini, so bare with me what am i going to tell eh. Actually, bkn ape, bkn aku x puas ati ngan sesape, just aku x puas ati ngan diri aku sendri. Aku rse few days ni aku byk buat keputusan yg silap n aku rse aku pn buat silly mistakes. Kje aku byk gle, tp aku blik kg n aku x dan nk buat kje 2, so kengkawan grup aku buat. Fine lah, then diorg suh aku buat slide, which iwas aku x dpt buat sbab aku x phm. So, ijat buat. Ok, aku dah rse guilty gle sbab cm contribute pape. Pas2 aku present slide 2, n aku x tau laa it went well or what laa kan. Even, membe aku lak kne bekap aku time lecturer tnya. Skali g aku rse guilty, sorry syafiq. Then, assignment clips, syafiq mintak aku buat interface, convert dr clips ke dos. Aku x dpt nk settlekan jgk, sebb aku looser coding clips. Aku dah segan ngan syafiq neh. Aku dah rse besalah x contribute pape lam team aku. Aduh, pesal aku jdik gini neh? Aku xde laa truk gini time dip, even final system developement hr 2 aku blh jee codingkan sistem 2 sengsorg. Pesal aku jdik gini? Aku kne lebih rjin lg! Ok, aku x nak korg yg bce ni rsa cm aku ni nk mintak simpati, or nk nmpk innocnet o whatever, ni luahan ape yg aku rse skg. Sebab aku rse apa yg aku buat aku x ptut buat. Ok, aku akan try contribute sebanyak yg boleh tuk team, even though korg yg byk buat kje dr aku. So sorry, Syafiq, Izzat, Syukri n Baiti. Sriously.

::I Should BLAH!::

Yah, i should go. But where 2? Ya Allah, y do u create me? Why am I have 2 live here? Y do I have 2 be here? The world would be better without me. And i also don't have 2 suffer. Apesal hidup aku jdi smpi cmni? Aku ni sungguh menyedihkan. Aku tkut untuk hidup lam dunia ni, because i don't have anyone else. I need a hand 2 hold just 4 me 2 live. But all i can see that i'm just alone in this world without no one noticing my existence. They only see the fake me laughing and talk crappy thing but they don't see the suffer, pain and everything in me. Well, i can b classified 2 be talented in acting because i can fake my self 4 the world 2 see. I'm always scared bout what would people think of me. I'm just stupid enough to feel happy and though that i'm such a happy person to live in this world. And now i keep thinking what worth of myself. Laku ke x. Hermm, aku x faham ngan situasi dan pemikiran aku skang. What am I supposed 2 be. What am i supposed to do.

::Kewujudan Aku::

Kewujudan aku? Aku tau, aku x ptut wujud. Aku mmg segan ngan diri aku. Aku x cam diorg kan. Isu ni mmg sensitif dgn dri aku. That's why npe aku selalu tnya tuhan kenapa aku dicipta cmni? Knapa karakter aku cmni. Aku dah cuba gaul ngan bsak2 ni, tp pusing sana sini aku still cmni. Aku dah cba sedaya upaya ubah karakter aku, tp remain cmni. Org mmg x leh eh trima org2 cm aku? Aku ni mmg x layak eh duk kat dunia ni eh? Aku rsa, from now on, aku just diam2 ja. Wei, tuk pengetahuan korg, karakter aku ni dah mmg cmni, so x yah laa nak kutuk2 @ perli. Korg ingat aku mintak ke? @ aku ske keadaan aku cmni? Srius, aku x phm npa aku diuji cmni. Sebab benda ni, dr aku kecik, smpi ke skang still x leh ubah lg. Org keeps on saying those nasty word without thinking bout my feeling. They don't know what i feel. Aku dah cba ubah, cr jalan, cr ckp n everything, eventho skang better, tp still ada lg karakter itu. Aku dah berusaha sedaya upaya tp benda 2 tetap wujud. Tp diorg xkan phm. Srius aku rs aku perlu menjauhkan diri dr diorg ni. Aku igt aku ni dpt diterima, tp rupa2nya. Itulah aku rsa aku x perlu wujud dlm dunia ni. Klu aku wujud hanya sekadar nak merasai kesengsaraan ccacian dan kutukan orang2, aku dah x sanggup. Aku nak pegi jauh dr diorg ni. Bye2.

...
StarzRebel*

::Times Is The Medicine::

Time heals a broken heart. I don't where i heard this wisdom or word maybe somewhere in a movie i've watched or maybe i've heard it somewhere b4 or maybe it came out from my head. I don't know but it does, time really can heal a broken heart or u want to 4get someone. 4 me, i hope this 2 week (sort of 2 week) leave will make me 4get someone that i like so much. I don't know if i had fall 4 that person but i know we will never b 2gather, so with time, i hope i can 4get that person. I want to vanquish the feeling of loving that person so much so that i won't get in the way of my study. Like it happen few week b4, i can't study easily. I've keep on thinking about that person. I really want that feeling to disappear. I hope after rya leave i can freely do what i want to do without thinking bout that person. Bodo kan aku, nak buang je perasaan 2. Tp aku mmg ptut buang sbb dia mmg bukan untuk aku. Aku mmg pasti tuk 2, sbab x nampak respon papa pn dr dia kan. Just pass by without noticing me. So, aku amek keputusan tuk 4get. Arghhh, asal emo poyo aku ni?
Bluerkkk!

4get me not,
StarzRebel*

::Whatever La Korang!::

Ape? Ingat aku bodo ke? Aku blh trima teguran, tp aku x bleh terima teguran yg macam memperbodhkan aku. Aku mmg x bleh terima org yg meletakkan taraf aku kat kaki diorg. Aku tgk, diorg cm sje je nk attack aku, sbab aku tgk lam blik ni bkan aku sorg je kan. Ade lg 2 org ok, so pesal ko x g dakwah kat diorg? Asal aim kat aku. Aku tgk diorg sme je level ngan aku, xde laa baik cm korg yg berdakwah ni kan. Haaa apesal? Cerita sket? Korg pls la wei, tegur 2 respek rrr sket aku kan, ni cm menjatuhkan aku plak. Bkan aku x penah dgr, aku dgr n ikut but ble korg ckp cm2, cra korg ckp cm2, korg mmg mcm menghina aku. N with that I really cannot accept what ever u tell me. Pas2 semua benda yg ko biat semua btul kan, aku buat semua salah kan. Ko pesal? Ko 2 mmg xde slh? Ble aku gtau ko x dgr. Srious dowh, aku x leh trima la. Blah lah! Aku x kesah rrr korg mlm ni. Ikut ske ati ko laaa. Mlm ni aku mmg nk emo. Amek ko!

Blah!,
StarzRebel*